I only ever tell the truth

I only ever tell the truth

If you wear bifocals long enough you start to see a line
right through the middle of the world
even when you take them off.

When you get an artificial hip you never need to clip your toenails again on that side.

Crossing your eyes too often will make them stay that way, but it's actually cute,
it's a nice look for you.

If you kiss a baby's ear it will forever be deaf to love on that side.

I don't care what you think of me.

The pencils roll under the typewriter to the magnet at the bottom of its center.

I know exactly how I feel about everything, including you.

Every book in the library has a hidden commie pinko hippie Kabbalist message in it
in code near the bottom of page 7 or 13.

You have never hurt me.

I have never wanted to hurt you back.